Limerick SAC Scuba Golf Society Ireland Ltd.

From Golf Outing

As we arrived, Rathbane resembled a cross between an assault course and omaha beach, it’s getting some remodelling and has the makings of a great course but its this ruggedness that suited our golfing style.

Richard (Tiger) Roche arranged everything from the green fees and golf balls right down to the weather, which was similar to the last outing – known to most as a Soft Day.

Regrettably the weather did produce some late withdrawals but it didn’t put us off, in fact Seamus Hassett arrived in a pair of speedo’s in anticipation of some well needed sunshine.

Golf clubs like diving equipment vary from those that should be in the Hunt Museum to the latest top of the range clubs made of space age material, however mine are inversely proportional to my scuba gear and were covered in dust, bird #%@$ and twigs but with a quick rub of Dave’s sweatshirt and the rust nearly looked like fake titanium.

In total contract Richard’s golf bag was so big that Dave actually hid in it during a downpour, there was enough room for 2 more but Dave wouldn’t leave anyone in and said he wanted to be on his own.

Regrettably the rain didn’t allow us the opportunity to show off our Freddy Mercury colours and so we reluctantly donned our raingear.

Dave wearing his Green oilskins resembled a fisherman and once he moved from the contrast of the car park onto the grass we never saw him again.

Being athletes, we decided we didn’t need any exercise so we rented out some golf carts, I was given one without a windshield but I wasn’t the only one to arrive back without one – more on that later.

And so began the competition, off we headed to the first tee which turned into a bit of a race and ended with Mike arriving at the tee box backwards.

Mike then debriefed us on educate or etiquette (who cares) while Seamus discussed the course rules and the use of the word ‘Fore’, which we all misunderstood as meaning ‘fore f–k sake’, anyway we paid no attention to rules as this was in-conducive to having fun. Although by the 3rd hole, we were all well versed in the terms, GUR and Out of Bounds.

After getting lost trying to find the 2nd it was agreed that Tiger Roche shouldn’t lead anymore and it was then that Seamus’s orienteering skills were called upon. It didn’t matter what direction we went because we only saw each other on the tee boxes and again on the greens, the in between bits were spent in ditches, bunkers and the adjoining fairways.

As the game progressed we all played some cracking shots but there were some where the ball only bobbled a few yards, in fact not mentioning names but you could do better by just throwing the ball (Dave).

Between the smart comments and everyone trying to put each other off, it was nonstop entertainment !

On one occasion there was a pile up on the 9th – Dave’s golf bag mysteriously fell off and as I swerved to avoid his clubs Richard rear ended my cart.

But when Dave and Mike drove over their windshield after it fell off, I thought Richard and Seamus would die with laughter.

Tiger Roche upped the ante and produced his lucky ‘pink’ golf ball which can only be described as a cross between a gob stopper and a sex toy, sadly this too was driven out of bounds and landed with a distant squeak. In a panic Tiger jumped into the nearest cart and tore off in search of his pink ball but failed to locate it.

At the 11th Mike decided it was time to start up some Yoga exercises after Dave lost the rag with his tee shot

and we all benefitted from his relaxation techniques so much so that Dave fell asleep standing up.

Richard confident he was going to win got serious and wouldn’t participate in any of our games and after 6 practice shots on the 18th landed his ball in something called a GUR.

That’s when the DO appeared and was glad to see we arrived back safely although we did have several MOB’s. (Man out of Bounds) 

We all shook hands and the Game was over.

Seamus after consulting the rule book tallied up the scores and declared me the winner.

This didn’t go down very well with my fellow divers and a scuffle soon broke out, they decided to judge the scores by a different method and it’s then the scratching of heads turned to the scratching of holes, particularly hole 4,5,6 and 10,11,12 and so on.

I ended up last with Richard just piping Seamus for first place.

Richard provided some excellent prises and we all received something although what we really wanted was a pink golf ball each.

Brian took some long distance photo’s and then it was off to the Jasmine for some Tiger beer and Sushi.

Bravo Richard, Well done and Thanks for a memorable Day,

A classic as they say.