Happy Gilmore and the Daisy Toppers.

I have to say the last golf outing was quite enjoyable, sure we got soaked but so what it’s the taking part that counts, Well Donal Carroll got soaked, the rest of us watched from our overloaded golf cart.

As divers we know all about Rules, we know which ones to turn a blind eye to and which ones are for other clubs.

Sure the Golf Cart said 2 persons but hey 4 more shouldn’t make a whole lot of difference, it had a valid VIP.

I just don’t understand why it died, I remember once we got 21 into a Fiat Panda no problem.


Anyway back to the action…


It began in the car park with us parading around in our salmon and lemon rigouts.

Then the customary ritual of imaginary club swinging to ward off the double bogie and bunker gremlin began.

As we moved to the first tee this progressed into daisy topping and general showing off until Donal said “Who’s up first” and with that the rest of us disappeared behind a great big laurel.

Donal threw his eyes to heaven and tee’d up first – whoosh – straight as a die 200yrds at least.

It’s then the butterflies kicked in, all those porky pies about 1 under’s and 25 foot putts, I’ll surely be found out this time.

So I tee’d the ball up as high as I could, closed my eyes and made a run at it – to this day no one knows where the ball went, I’m certain I got a hole in one. The others were not and made me start again !

That’s where I lived up to my reputation by losing 6 balls on the first tee and sadly setting the tone for the afternoon.

Richard playing off scratch didn’t live up to expectations either and crashed out losing all of his balls all 3 of them to be exact.

He too had notions of grandeur expecting to tear through the course, until nature called and the only thing he tore was his plus 4’s trying to negotiate a barbed wire fence.

And that was just the first hole.