Posts by Ciaran Enright

SAR for Dummys

I arrived to find Richard trying to enter the code for the fob in reverse, he then mentioned to me privately that he saw the northern lights about 20 min ago. This was not good and things began to get worse as

Johnny appeared to be suffering from man flu but someone said they smelt a whiff of drink….

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HP or LP

It has come to my attention that a certain “experienced committee member” has forgotten the difference between HP and LP.
Now LP to those of the bald and grey diving community, might refer to the vinyl records that once were the in thing and to which Ronnie has the biggest collection on the North Circular Road.
Similarly HP might refer to the only loans that banks can offer in this time of uncertainty, the fine weather or the sauce you use on your hairy bacon

So Mr Chairman, I’ve have it in good authority (from Brian O’Leary no doubt), that HP in this instance refers to Hewlett Packard.
Therefore when buying hoses make sure you use a HP computer to order the correct fecking hose the next time !

Breaking News !

Crouching Tiger hidden Fire Hydrant !
After presure from the 100’s of media camped outside Tigers house he finally admitted he left his Family, his Fans and his trousers down.
The favoured approach is to apologies to his family then blame the devil and ask his fans for forgiveness and then carry on as if nothing happened.
He maybe in the rough but he’s not out of the woods yet !

Crouching Diver hidden Shell !
Just hot off the press a certain diver went down on his dodgy knee to propose recently.
I believe he in fact when down on all fours, as the ring, hidden in a sea shell, blended in with it surrounding so much so that it nearly went out with the tide.
The rock will certainly be displayed this Sat  – €10 to the first person to guess their CFT no’s.
 
Other News.
One of Coronations streets favourites passed away.
Blanche(75) died yesterday, she’ll be missed for her dry wit, a trait that Limerick people are also know for.
One of her best lines was “ I’ll have a tonic water and a put a gin in it to brighten it up”.
On Liz McDonald “Skirt no bigger than a belt, too much eyeliner, and roots as dark as her soul”.
No one admitts to watching Corrie but everyone does and any diver that denies this will be charged an extra €10 for their next dive.

For Johnny Hasset, Peter Walsh, Brian Kearney and Doc Tom, who might I add are devoted soap fans and never miss an episode, this is a particularly sad time for them and they plan to hold a minutes silence this Saturday just after the Munster match.

The Case of the Missing 5th Gear

Mike is back on the Road but some things are not quite right !
Some time ago Mike blew his turbo, he was apparently giving it welly while listening to King of Leon’s new single ‘Sex on Fire’.

This morning I got a phone call  “My 5th Gear is gone, I have 4th and 6th but no 5th “ he said bewildered. “Maybe I could do without it” he added, But that’s like saying which finger could you do without !
I like to hold on to all my pinkies thank you very much.

In the meantime I’ve contacted Henry Street and reported the theft !

 

The Tale of our Mariner 320 and a fearless Leinster supporter

New Mariner 320

Prologue,
As some of you are aware Francis is a true blue -a Lunster Supporter living in Manorhamilton and is also known to service the odd regulator and VIP a few bottles. He also supplies compressors and wouldn’t be lost in Moore Street with his slang and sharp wit.

Chapter One.
Last November we decided to replace our compressor before the existing one blew up and according to Murphy that’s exactly what happened. Yes, Murphy got his hands on our Marnier and it finally gave up the Ghost back in May.

 

Chapter Two
It finally arrived although I suspect Francis was holding on to it for some time, delaying his arrival to coincide with the Munster v Ulster interprovincial in Thomand Park. This was strongly refuted but how could you believe a Dublin Jackeen wearing a crisp new Leinster Jersey hailing from Leitrim and driving a Galway registered Land Rover Sport.  Especially since his son was dressed from head to toe in Munster gear.

Then the banter started.

 

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Peter the free diving ninja and his orange sea-doo !

This year’s training started with a bang, full on, no expense spared, we had more equipment than a dive shop, underwater scooters, camera’s, video recorders, full face masks, underwater communications, mono fins, You name it we had it!
In the pool it was a real family affair with a life time of ages from Cian at 12 to the legend Ronnie who’s surely 104 and fitter than most of us creaking 40 year olds. And to document all this, we were delighted to have a reporter from the Limerick Leader attend and try his hand at scuba for the first time.
And it doesn’t end there , we get to do it all again next week, but the highlight will be on the 3rd of November when, due to popular demand, Peter Walsh will be giving his highly acclaimed, free diving breath holding workshop – I can’t wait.
Some of the antics this week included….

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UL Scuba Pool Training: Speedo verses Quicksilver

On your marks divers, pool training is just around the corner. It’s time to put the wet suit away and go looking for your faded Speedo’s, you know the one’s…It’s the pair you bought when you were 22 about 32 years ago, they started off red and now look a gay pink.
Build for speed but not the cat walk, once on, they automatically make you go blue as you fail to hold in the 6 pack you once possessed. Some say Dave Ryan has a navy pair and refers to them as his nicker Speedo’s.
For the younger members it’s the pair that says RipCurl or QuickSilver,
They start somewhere below your man boobs and go right down to your calf !
Cool they might look but but no one know what your packing (or lack of) and anyway they behave like your own personal sea anchor. Apparently our chairman has a lovely baby blue pair.
Enough said.
Peter and I would be delighted to see you strutting your stuff at the poolside.
So join us on the 13 of October for the first of many.
Here are the dates…
Oct 13,20.
Nov 3,10,17,24.
Dec 1,8,15.
Jan 5,12,19,26.
Feb 2,9,16,23.
Mar 2,9.

Mid Weak Anti Cyclone

From Anti Cyclone Kilkee Bay

It only took a few phone calls and we decided Wednesday was the day for diving in Kilkee. 6 of the finest divers arrived in Kilkee 2 hours before noon but something looked wrong, very very wrong, the sea was far from the placid state we’d expected.  A brisk stroll up Dunlikee was all it took to realise our plans for a relaxed dive were in jeopardy, Anti Cyclone – It sounds more like some new technology from Dyson than the promise of good weather, well that what were experienced yesterday, we thought we were inside a Dyson. From Beyond Bishops to Donegal point as far as the eye could see, the coast line was a mess, with water cascading over Berrity to spectacular waves looming over middle rock, it was not a day to venture outside the bay.

 

Even Skinny from OceanLife was mystified as to where the 4m swells were coming from…Ok ok they were coming from somewhere in the mid Atlantic but why? Their was a big H sitting there for the last week and a ½. Enough of this negativity and after a brief discussion we decided middle of the bay was the only place we could go, Skinny on the other hand wasn’t convinced and headed over to Illaunabha, but soon arrived back with his tail between his legs and decided to join us.

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LSAC Birthday Countdown Calculator.

A little bird told me that a certain bearded Instructor celebrates his birthday today.

As you all know once you turn 40 you begin to count backwards as this is how you’ll end up,
be it 2 or 78 you’ll be wearing nappies, drinking from a beaker, talking gibberish and using a walker/zimmer frame for transportation.
If you can reach 0 you’re now above the national average and well on your way to celebration your 3rd 21st as you begin count forward again.

So who turned 39 today for the 2nd time !

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Coors Night on Friday Lite.

Myles Breen – Going away party for Magic

8pm arrived and there I was still running around looking for my socks, I shouted “Have you not ironed my shirt yet !”
The response I got was both verbal and visual, the former being inappropriate as this is a family blog and the visual bit was a stainless steel pot hurtling past my nose.

Eventually we got on the road after we kissed and made up, it was 8:03pm and we were dead late.

Myles Breen’s was quite with a few local heads propping up the bar as we made our way to the back of the pub.
Doc Tom, Dave,  Mike O, Magic, Johnny, Emma and Brian our DO were there to greet us,
They were all in a exceptional good mood despite the weather, did someone win the lotto I thought, Dave maybe – he was dressed very smartly but then he was once an ex male model for Brown Thomas’s autumn collection, it’s when I heard that Coor’s Lite was free, I understood.

We were queuing up of buy each other rounds as if this free promotion exempted us from our previous obligations regarding who’s round was next.   
Coor’s Lite it wasn’t as it began to take effect immediately and  the customary “before” photograph took a while to organise in fact all the photos had an “after” look about them.
Johnny using some choice hand signals expressed his delight in getting his picture taken over and over, while Dave got very European and began to hug and dance with everyone.

 

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Le Tour de LSAC

Before the clocks go back and we descend into darkness, instead of looking for our Diving lamps why not brush the cobwebs off your high Nelly and take it for a spin.

“Cycling – Thats not for me, anyway the last time I tried it, my fins will got stuck in the spokes and I hurt my head! “, said the training officer.

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Children of Chernobyl Barbecue

From Children of Chernobyl BBQ

Next year, Limerick Sub Aqua Club celebrates its 50th anniversary, But more importantly it’ll be the 5th year that we will organise our annual Boating trip and BBQ for the Children of Chernobyl. This year’s event was a huge success with over 60 children turning up last Thursday. With help from Lough Derg SAC and Killaloe/Ballina Search & Rescue Unit, the Children enjoyed some high speed turns, delicious burgers and face painting on the picturesque shores of Lough Derg. Even the Coast Guard took time out from their duties to sample our refreshments.

We all arrived together and like a set from Killinaskully we began unloading the trailer with all our props – barrels planks, cones, rope, chairs and the kitchen sink, you name it we had.

It was great to see Frank Corr arrive and join the party as if he was never away, he said it was because he was shy and promised he would attend more events in future.

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